Fortnite player killed by mom, lag, cheaters.

Arnold Haak, self proclaimed champion of the popular game Fortnite Battle Royale, was killed earlier today during competition.  Amidst the angry yells, The Satira dispatched its hard hitting investigative news team to gather the details of the death.  Arnold was quoted as saying, "I was going to win, but then I started lagging and I missed a few shots because of that, The wall started moving and my mom started yelling at me to pause the game to take out the trash, so my focus was really divided, I still managed to get to the center though, but I swear the boogie bomb that guy threw was hacked, no way I couldn't have dodged it, freaking cheaters.  They all owe me a chicken dinner."  Arnold proceeded to Fornite dance to deflect any further questions.  Talking to his mother Shariah Haak lead to a follow up statement from her, "He blames everything for that Nintendo, the cat, me, the sun, what he ate, I don't think hes ever admitted to losing, I let you guys in though, so remember you promised to take the trash out when you leave."

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