Marvel workers races and genders changed, acceptance forced

Marvel studios began a program via lottery to randomly change the race and gender of all employees below management level, the program was free from oversight while under the umbrella that is the Disney corporation and has currently reassigned the race, gender, or both of over 80% of the employed staff.  Race was determined by dice roll while gender was decided by coinflip with a percentage die rolled to determine if the individual was to be non binary or multi-ethnic.  Upper management immediately filed for diversity hire paper work on all new minorities, which paid for most of the program.
The memo released about the changes stated that any complaining about the new program meant the employee was racist or sexist and would be terminated immediately, and the new inclusive marvel would not tolerate anything less then blind inclusion no matter how severe or forced it was.
When The Satira contacted the CEO of marvel for a comment, his response was brief, "Yeah, we did it, can I go, I just got into this really cool site called tumblr."
One anonymous employee contacted us distraught, "I have been a white guy my whole life, Now I am a half asian, half black woman.  I mean I qualify for a LOT of school scholarships, but no one listens to me and my carpool backed out of me driving, same pay though."
Another employee however was ecstatic about the new change, and said, "I did it, I am finally a white guy, this is great, life is going to be so easy now, I feel bad for all the ladies and minorities that didn't roll white guy, but I am going to do big things."
This statement was immediately followed by his termination, black listing, twitter attack campaign, and fines.


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