Rapper 2 Chainz robbed, has to reinvent as 1 chainz

Rap super star 2 Chainz fell victim to a robbery late last night.  The performer reportedly left the venue after his show and was held at gun point by what witnesses describe as a caucasian male with a copious amount of tatoos across his body and face.  According to witnesses the robber then yelled in frustration, "Gimme a chain man, my soundcloud aint working out, I need to rub some of your dopeness on me."
At which point 2 Chainz laughingly handed over a chain and waited for police to arrive.  A source within the Kansas city PD told us that 2 Chainz said in his statement, "I mean, I almost hope it works, I feel bad for my little dude.  It is just sad though, because I was about to evolve into 3 chainz and now I feel kind of set back."
When asked why he would pluralize 1 Chainz, he responded to The Satira saying, "I was always a fan of that movie air heads, you know with Sandler and them in the radio station, Lone Rangers are my homies.", and later in the interview when asked about the move to 3 chainz, "I mean, labels basically use rappers as pokemon and get us to battle each other, I originally started as half chain, I am surprised no one really makes the connection, I have tons of moves, most of them are super effective vs soundcloud rappers, but I just didn't have the heart to destroy him, he reminded me of my favorite desk in detention."


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