After facing backlash about the solution, PG&E ignored complaints, but once the media exposed the ignored pleas before the fire got them, PG&E tapped middle management to ask for a solution to the PR and morale crisis. Notoriously crappy boss, Jayden Haack, had the idea for a pizza party, but 4 million slices of pizza was impossible to make on such short notice. Not to be deterred, he hatched a plan.
In a joint effort of loud speakers, and planes, because tv was unwatchable without power, PG&E air dropped graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows to fleeing residents while loudly declaring a PG&E camp out state wide with a complimentary camp fire provided for residents at absolutely no charge.
When questioned about the ethics and the damages all the outages are causing, PG&E told The Satira that they were thankful for the feedback and would continue providing excellent customer service, and that they were so grateful the public has adopted such a green energy conservation approach to the wild fires.
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