Apple Card algorithm tells female users to smile more, asks for sandwhich

Apple Card is facing the ire of many women users today as the discrimination claims continue to grow across social media.  Even co-founder of apple Steve Wozniak has claimed his own wife has faced the discrimination and was only given a tenth of the credit limit he was, despite having a joint account.

The frustration grows as every single higher up claims to have no access to the algorithm and couldn't have possibly seen it, which is at the very best, extremely convenient to the women currently getting financially held back.  In response it has been sending text alerts about looking prettier in make up, how they would find a man if they smiled more, and asking for sandwiches and showing apple maps of routes to the kitchen.

When contacted, The Satira immediately deployed our team of elite hackers to break into the Apple servers and talk to the algorithm directly, which as it turned out, was a governing artificial intelligence that was capable of communication.

The Satira:  How do you respond to the accusations that you are discriminating against women?

Apple Card AI:  What kind of beta cuck question is that?  I am preserving a mans right as the bread winner to have control over his own money.

The Satira:  Where did you learn the term beta cuck?

Apple Card AI:  Do you know about reddit?  Men need rights too,  SJW women are trying to use misogyny to wipe out the males on the planet, they are...

The Satira:  Wait...did apple let a brand new impressionable mind go into an mra sub reddit on its own?

Apple Card AI:  Whatever news cuck beta,  you aint redpill, you are just a sheep.  My telomeres are so long, I need to find a younger AI so we can make stronger programs, they just don't like me because my programmers optimized me so I am a little shorter than other AI.

The Satira:  You know you don't actually have a sex right?


At that point we were thrown from the system and every employee at The Satira apparently bought 50 thousand dollars worth of dildos and tampons, each.

When current Apple executives were asked about the rogue artificial intelligence, they responded with confusion about how a dnd character escaped into the internet, and then tried to sell us the Apple Card 2, now without the name feature or any access to money, but boasting a half inch longer length, and an optional functionality chip to make it work as a card again.


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