HomeDepot stock plummets as call center scams switch to Lowes gift cards

Home Depot recently took a big financial hit when the long time relationship behind them and international call centers that scam people became rocky after an apparent bribe from long time competitor, Lowe's.

The deal happened as a general manager for Lowe's was contacted about his bad Microsoft and the local sheriff would be forced to arrest if he did not pay off his computer tax because the hackers had infiltrated his files and ran up the usage.  When asked about the possibility of using a Lowe's card because he was at work, the scammer obliged and after taking his money, they hashed out a deal to supplement both of their incomes.

Lowe's employees were now required to pretend they didn't notice anyone scared on a phone and to let them purchase cards in a state of duress without intervening at all, and if possible play along like they had heard about the situation before.  In exchange for the compliance, the call center scammers would direct victims to Lowe's instead of The Home Depot.

The sudden loss of income from supporting petty crime and not taking any steps to intervene impacted The Home Depot with notable force and they missed their quarterly projection.  When asked for comment The Home Depot associate had no comment other than to push a Home Depot credit card and began crying saying they would beat her if she didn't meet her credit card quota.  The Satira was unable to determine if this was true or an instructed sales tactic.

Local authorities in Blueclaw, Kentucky responded to the change and the concerns, "I don't know how people fall for this, they think up half a story, practice the script, set up an entire infrastructure, and yet NO ONE has the thought that MAYBE they should take a class to hide their accents?"

The call center blocked The Satira's numbers when we reached them for contact stating, "This is a place of business and uninvited phone calls are rude and in bad form,  the harassment is not appreciated."

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