Juelz Santana, Too Short, and Flo Rida investigated as whistle blowers after republicans find AOC spotify playlist

Republicans issued subpoenas today in connection with their whistle blower investigation, after hearing signs of distress on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's laptop, Republican representative Devin Nunes felt it was his duty to investigate her laptop in case someone trapped inside the laptop needed help, and in the course of the investigation found an alarming list opened up on her browser.

According to the deposition AOC had a list of names with a possible link to the impeachment investigation, the names were followed by short notes.  Nunes felt he had no recourse but the publicly name the names and demand they come to a public hearing, in absolutely no way, shape, or form, tampering with the investigation or trying to intimidate the witnesses.

The summons was issued for one Juelz Santana, who was marked on the list with "There It Go (The Whistle Song), one Too Short who was noted with "Blow The Whistle", and one Flo Rida who was marked with one word "Whistle",  AOC seemed to strain to contain her emotions during the reveal of the surprise investigation and chose not to comment immediately.

The Republican inquiry was answered by the artists as they were given a battery of obstacles to intimidate them,  Juelz Santana was asked for his immigration papers,  Too Short was measured and grilled on what he subjectively thought was too short and whether or not he qualified, while Flo Rida was asked about real estate prices before several of them tried to make plans to retire at his home.

Nunes claimed that the list was encoded as a list "Spotify", which Donald Trump JR spent 8 hours decoding to clearly be an anagram for "If To Spy" and was indicative of the witch hunting lynch mob against President Trump and proved that all their findings were illegal.  At which point AOC lost control of her emotions and guff awed to the point of rolling around on the floor beset with laughter.

After a brief whispered conversation with the only republican aid under 30 in the building, all republicans in attendance wordlessly stood up and walked out of the hearing as the rappers and AOC exchanged high fives.

Nunes is currently looking into laws against what the republicans have dubbed "Hippity Hoppity", and are looking forward to the completion of the bill.


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