Southwest airlines offering free samples, recordings of crying infants

Southwest Airlines contacted The Satira today with a press release, in a new public relations campaign they have recorded several hours of babies crying and mixed and mastered them in 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound in order to place them all over the virtual soundscape.  The crying babies are punctuated with occasional turbulence, angry foreign yelling, and worrisome sounding hacking coughs, the master piece is the almost too low to hear conversation that definitely seems to be in poor taste and full of racial slurs that you can only hear half of.

Southwest wanted to recreate the luxury travel experience that their customers enjoy and sought out to recreate the experience as closely as possible.  The lack of stewardesses in the recording only served to add to the experience and the spokesman for Southwest encourages listeners to enjoy the recording on a bus, or in stationary situations to sit in a small closet for the cozy limited room feeling that is enjoyed on their planes.

Southwest wished to extend it to the terminal experience as well, and while making people wait 5 hours to get the free recording partially does this, they could not find a cost effective way to strip search anyone darker than a certain skin tone or anyone not dressed business casual.

Music critics have had mixed reviews but Rolling Stones magazines chimed in on the mix tape, writing, "Surprisingly, it is still better than listening to these new mumble rappers, at least these crying babies are sympathetic and not advocating drug use to the youth."

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