Universal healthcare support surges as Bernie sanders mentions no more GoFundMe Posts

Bernie Sanders recently spoke on universal healthcare and after repeated appeals to the compassion of the conservative audience failed, he tried explaining the economic benefits which are also concepts they failed to grasp.  Facing the icy silence of the crowd Sanders sighed and leveled with them saying, "Look, it will cost less and you wont have to put up with every other post on facebook being a fucking GoFundMe anymore."

Upon realizing that universal healthcare would actually annoy them less day to day, it grew support the way not letting people die for being poor couldn't and the crowd erupted in applause before chanting, "Fuck GoFundMe" and posting pictures of money to poor kids with cancer to taunt them.

When The Satira contacted Bernie Sanders for comment on the speech, Sanders told us, "I don't care why they are for it, I will take it.  If getting rid of a mild inconvenience matters more to them than human life, they can hate us right into saving lives.  I was already in talks with Obama to pretend he didn't want it and hated the idea, but this is a faster shortcut."

GoFundMe immediately started lobbying against universal healthcare and gave contributions to Sanders anti healthcare opponents.  When asked how they had enough buying power to pull the moves they responded to The Satira, "We take a percentage, so robbing kids with cancer and the homeless basically, it is incredibly lucrative."


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