Fat Tittied Slut Machine Ignores Perfectly Good Construction Worker Compliments

A joint effort to fix a bridge in Newark, New Jersey was halted for an hour after construction workers had to regroup from a sever indignity.  A woman, Jesse Haley was walking by the construction site when the workers engaged in light hearted and uplifting cat calling.  After showering her with yells about their favorite parts of her anatomy, what they would like to do to her, and asking for her phone number, to their shock and amazement, she walked past without so much as a look.

One of the workers, Chuck Drivers, contacted The Satira with the full account of the incident.

The Satira:  Thank you for your courage Chuck, can you tell us what happened?

Chuck Drivers:  See basically, she was coming by, so we stopped you know.  Larry said she had some fat titties, Paul said he'd like to tune the motor on such a fine slut machine, I yelled that if she was a sperm bank I'd die of dehydration.  You know, paying her compliments, building her up, being nice.

The Satira:  Ok sure, and you said that is when the problem started?

Chuck Drivers:  This broad bro, she musta been raggin or something, we get nothing, no wave, no smile, not even a look, she just keeps walkin like her coffee is more important than us.

The Satira:  And how did Mrs. Haley make you feel when she did that.

Chuck Drivers:  Me and the boys frankly felt marginalized, she treated us like a prop, sub human even.  Just no sense of human decency at all.  Out of desperation I yelled I'd still take her number even though she was a bitch.  Nothing bro, no number, no look, she just walked away.  We were heart broken.

The Satira:  That must be hard, being objectified as scenery and completely debased.

Chuck Drivers:  You are telling me, we had to take an hour off and cry and hug it out.  How could she be so rude?  I still think about it sometimes, I am not sure I will ever be the same.

The Satira:  Well we hope that it works out for you guys, we have set up a charity in your honor, there will be other randomly passing by women in your future.

Chuck Drivers:  A big fat assed pound me doll?

The Satira:  We sure hope so.

Chuck Drivers: I do too.

Reports indicate they had a female coworker with another cat calling incident 2 months prior to this tragedy, but reportedly the woman just got 500 phone numbers and settled down with a guy who was willing to do anything, even completely support her, for any sort of attention from a woman.

The Newark bridge three are currently in therapy, and while progress is slow, healing is happening.

0 comments:

Post a Comment