Ghosts Avoiding Mediums Claiming All They Do Is Prey On Their Grief And Lie

The United Ghost Alliance has contacted The Satira's occult division psychics to inform us and the rest of the world that they are officially not responding to any working mediums or paranormal investigators from this point on.  The Ghosts feel that the relationship has always been strained and parasitic, and with the advent of reality shows it has grown into an actively abusive relationship that empowers the other side to take advantage in their name.

One ghost named Alex White appeared in our office and after blowing things around and wailing he settled down for an interview about Paranormal investigators, "Have you seen how they try to talk to ghosts?  Would you respond to people telling you to touch a light if you were a rapist?  Clumsy ass tech falls down the stairs cause hes walking around cables in the DARK and suddenly I am the asshole?  Then some faking ass crunchy lily white chick identifying as a gypsy says you want to hurt people because she hasn't had the groups focus for 45 seconds and fakes like she has the vapors like shes a dame from the 1930s.  One of them asked me if I was attracted to children, a floor beam cracked and they said I was pedophile on national TV."

After word we were hearing ghost grievances,  The Satira headquarters was over run with more ghosts than all the wombs in a sorority house with more grievances than an all female staff working a trump reality show.  The grievances included exorcism from homes they never left to anyone, so essentially having their homes stolen twice, the growing hate group of ghost busters, items they are anchored to being sold to weirdos that cut themselves and only listened to horrible industrial music, and rampant claims about women claiming they were having sex with them when they didn't even like them as a friend.

The Supernatual strike is slated to continue by the incorporeal union until, Elvis Presley, the leader of the UGA said, "These mother fuckers learn to talk to people and stop claiming we are around when we aren't, famous ghosts have it the worst, poor 2 Pac just stays in the sewers anymore because rappers keep claiming he inspired their wack ass songs."

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