The Satira is a longstanding news organization dedicated to hard hitting journalism and speaking truth to power.  As an entity of journalism its goal is to become the one true news source by beheading other news sources and absorbing their power via what is called a quickening.  The dedicated work force behind the headlines follows the strictest adherence to journalistic integrity, as long as that integrity includes satire, which all stories on The Satira are.  There can only be one.